Weekend: Here I Come!

It's only Wednesday and I'm ready for Friday. It's 5 am and I'll be getting ready for work soon but I wanted to jump online to say I'll be out this Saturday. Anyone interested in seeing TRON with me, email me at:

corporal.tucker@live.com

Again, I'm in Atlanta, so if you're in Juno, this isn't going to work. It's going to be a late night showing too so anyone that's interested: email me.

Enjoy your Wednesday!

Sometimes I like to cook. Sometimes I like to write. Sometimes I take pictures. I am a photographer and one of the most important rules of photography is: Always have your camera. You really can't be a photographer without it. And sometimes I take pictures of strange people. You may recall my earlier post where I shot some dude at a rest stop on the highway who was wearing plaid shorts and scarf with short sleeves and sandals.

Why do I do these things? I could give you an explanation that involves public forums and photography rights but that's all stupid. I do this because it is thrilling to capture nonsense at it's best. For instance, lets say I'm driving around the parking lot of Target and I happen to come across a lady who not only rocks a leopard fur coat, but also pimps out her dog in the same attire.

Click!

Damn straight I'm gonna take you picture. If you decide to wear an elephant print sweater and hot pink pants or something along those lines, I'll be waiting. I will lurk and cloak myself in the shadows. I will poise ready to pounce! I will focus and adjust my shutter speed in anticipation for something like this.

And I dedicate it all to you. My readers. My faithful awesome lovely sexy readers.

Have a good week ya'll.

And don't forget your cameras.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Mary Elizabeth! She was born this morning to Christy, James and William Holden. We're all very excited and happy for her and look forward to meeting her!

This week, another chapter (more properly, "book") was released in the Chronicles of Narnia by Disney. I really really want to go see it as I'm a huge CS Lewis fan. Apart from that, TRON comes out next week. TRON can not wait for Netflix. I have to see it in theaters and even though money is tight, I plan on splurging on a slushee.

Really tight. Christmas time is always a bust on the wallet. Anyone want to help me take down a liquor store? All in the name of Christmas. Can you imagine little Jimmy or Sally opening a wrapped present to find a bottle of gin?

One of these days there will be a knock on my front door and a dude with a badge will arrest me and take me away because of this blog. An ugly dude with bad breath.

I'm typing this on my Google TV by the way. Just in case I haven't bragged about it enough.

So here's another challenge for all you folks out there that read and want to comment but get nervous or bored by the end of the page or just don't comment for comment's sake. Let me know what you want for Christmas. Please don't tell me you want world peace, instead, be creative: not a beauty contestant.

Have a good week ya'll!

I Left My Heart in San Fransisco

Well, where do I start? I got the Christmas lights up. Turkey day is behind us. Things are getting colder in North Atlanta. I’ve been working on my site some more at home but it still needs more attention. My son is so flipping cute my head spins around a little bit from time to time.

I guess I should mention my trip to the hospital. First time ever and it wasn’t too much fun, but then again, is it ever? I had chest pains Sunday night. “Chest pain” is a password for anyone wanting to get into the ER quickly. Tell someone you have that and they’ll be all over you. Actually don’t, it’s not cool.

I got to the hospital at about midnight. Told the peeps what was going on. They, expectantly, looked at me like, “ah, here comes the fat kid.” So immediately I was in robes and some nurse snagged my IV line. Wow, that didn’t feel good. Not to worry my most valued and beloved readers: the drugs were next! No more chest pains. Happy thoughts and a nice lady named Misty shaving my chest. The EKG didn’t go the way she wanted to, so it was fun to have half my chest shaved. 

No worries compadres! I still have half of my chest hair.  : ]

After the EKG fun, a cardio Dr. named Bruno came in and fell apart on me. He looked at me with all the fear he could muster. “Sir, your readings aren’t good and we need to get a better look at what is going on with your heart. We will need to take you to the cath lab and insert a cath into your artery to take X-rays and find the problem. Once we see the blockage, we can determine how severe and if there are multiple blockages we will have to perform open heart surgery.”

“Just sign here.”

Ok, so at that point my jaw is on the floor and 2 other nurses are looking pretty grave, holding needles and I only had 1 question, “Will there be another consultation after the procedure?” Next thing I knew, I was off with Misty and a few new friends to a place with people wearing cool green ninja gear. The “cocktail” they had inserted into my IV line was kicking in and it was party time. Some big guy (I think he worked out) did some more shaving and then it was poky poke time in my crotch while a few women talked about technical doctor stuff.

My everything was exposed to a group of people I hadn’t met before and Dr. Dawn was looking at me as if I had escaped the zoo, the mood was fairly tense and I should “remain still.” Apart from all this happening, I wasn’t embarrassed for some reason. I didn’t feel like the half naked drugged guy on a table at all.

And that was that. They pumped the iodine through my heart, got the x-rays and then I was consulted by another doctor who told me it was a chest infection that got to my heart muscles. Did I mention the drugs? They were good.

So I’m a little off from the normal lately. I’m sorry for the lack of “funny” in this post. But there’s always tomorrow.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow!

Recycled Spam

So I had this idea. And I'm sure it's been used before but I'm still saying it's mine. I also know not to start a sentence with "And." What if I can contribute to society by spreading the joy and laughter of this thing I call a blog? What if I can change the way average citizens of this wonderful nation think with a few strokes of my pen. Keyboard? Chisel?!

But what if?

Yes, you might have been misled here but you're hear now. You have to continue reading because I tend to go around in circles and some how end up in even more murky waters; metaphorically speaking. You have to try to decipher this mess and come out with some new information. You have to try to read between the lines. You have to pay your bills on time or your pets will rebel and re-arrange all your furniture while you are getting your bikini waxed.

Or do you?

Who waxes a bikini anyways? You thought I screwed up there didn't you? HA!

Look, I'm sorry you got spam and it lead here. The truth is you sort though that stuff every day. I do. It's crap. But think of all the fun we've had reading the subject lines!

"Buy Power Juice NOW! Increase Your Brain!"

"Tickle Your Realtor with New Home Loan Paper!"

"Increase the Size of Your Florida Part!"

"Hook up with Dirty Singles in your Neighborhood!"

"Get Arrested While Farting on Politicians!"

Spam has changed the way we think about Spam. Yeah, we used to get it in the ol' mailbox. You remember that thing that's at the end of the driveway? You don't? Never mind.

Well, regardless of how much we all hate spam like it Destiny's Step Child, we get it. We endure it. We trash it. It's part of life and now you've wasted some of yours reading this blog. I hope you enjoyed your time though. I don't do this to annoy anyone, I'm just a patsy. I didn't shoot the sheriff or the deputy but I am guilty of something. Something I've been reluctant to share with you all. Something I don't really talk about too much because I'm afraid it might scare all the lady's away.

I'm smoking hot.

Also: if I don't make it back to the keyboard in time, Happy Turkey Day.

God Bless Our Troops!

Happy Veterans Day! Thank you to all who are serving and those who have. God speed and come home safe. We all miss you and hope for your safety.

Our country is in debt to you all.

When Sarcasm Goes Wrong

Hey there! How was your weekend? Really? Schweet. I tweeted a few times. I always thought that site/idea/craze was silly and useless, but now I see the reason for it.

Shameless plug: http://twitter.com/CorporalTucker

There's something strangely humorous about saying "I tweeted a few times. Kinda gross.

So I'm plugging this site away pretty hard. I've been browsing reading other blog sites and plugging the link like a worker at a damn and I'm proud to say I got a few hits last week. But not that proud. Only a few. I need more. I need tons. Yes, I'm turning into a blog junky. So tell your friends. Bump the site. Flip it on flickr. Spam it on your smart phone. Text a link in your sink. Then sit back and wash it all down with a cool spudweiser.

Well there must be a reason why I want followers. Sure, I could say it's because everything needs love, even though this is only a web page and the web doesn't feel love. [[or does it?]] No, that's not the reason. The reason is because of this!

That's the big announcement I had to make. Look at the size of that text. It's huge. So is my head. Nothing earth shattering and I need to apologize to everyone out there that thought I was pregnant. That's not the big announcement.

Well it's not fully operational yet. The back end is being finished as I type this. I need to set up the actual purchasing process and that might take a couple days. Who knows? I'm in no rush but the shirt is pretty sweet and I know some of you will wanna get it as Christmas presents for your friends. Maybe you want to wear it to your next church meeting. Perhaps you can wear it to school, because school never censors anything....

"Save instantly on grumpy teenagers!"

Well now that the announcement is done I can get on with the post. I seriously took sarcasm a little too far. Someone sent me an email and well...I screwed up. But that's ok. I don't think I hurt anyone's feelings and now I can sit back and laugh at it all. I know the details are missing and everything is fill in the blank but that's the way it is sometimes.

Ok, lets say this (and I know it's happened to everyone) : You get an email you don't want. It's total junk mail and it's been sent along 60 times. 60! 60 poor people had to read the same dribble you did and waste 5 minutes of their life. Well. Sometimes I email everyone on that spam email list. I'll email the least sarcastic thing I can think of because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I just find it entertaining.

Anyways, I did that but on a smaller scale and things are developing into shinanigans. It's really funny which makes it also "wrong."

Hand is cramping, back to shopping!

Friday - Lets Put This All Behind Us and Pretend it Didn't Happen

Not the best week. I’m looking forward towards the next one. I’m up at 1am and had a rough time with a sick baby and the bottle is looking pretty good right now. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit huffing lead paint. You know what? I’ll be right back cause I need pain pills.

New paragraph: new possibilities. So I’m pretty spiteful at 1am and I’ll have to add some sarcasm to try cover up the bad attitude. Once the Advil kicks in I’ll be good to go. I’m totally pumped for the weekend. I’m ready for my sedation. NURSE! Seriously, can I skip work and pass Go and collect 200 dollars? I want to do another review!

This week:

Monday – “Huh? Where am I? Oh shit, I’m back here again. Oh well, party is over. Time to take off my Donkey costume cause Halloween is over. Don’t want to be confused with the suckers at the election.”

 

Tuesday – Acted a fool and won a break dancing contest. Then I voted for what I wanted to vote for.

Wednesday – “Why am I still sick?” Despite feeling like a frog in a wheel barrow going down the side of Rushmore I was in good spirits.

Thursday – “Since it is 1am it still feels like today is Thursday but its Friday and wait. Huh? Where am I?”

Friday – Well here we are again. Hope your week was as fun as mine!

End of review

So yesterday, at work, I had a blog reader/co worker try to talk to me about Star Wars 3D and how he/she (for anonymous reasons) wants to marry it. The person was wearing all black so I immediately associated he/she with Darth Vador. Big mistake. I’m trying to cleanse my brain of that dirty film. My peeps test me with traps but I’m like that dude in pit fall. All 25 pixels of him! Boing boing!

 Watch out for that gator Jacob!!!!

Ok that last sentence was for Swamp People. Oh my goodness Billy Jean is not my lover, that show is hilarious. I hate to be a racist and laugh at white people but those good ol’ boys are fuggin hilarious. WoooooWeee! It’s not that I find them stupid because they way they talk, it’s just that I find the way they talk stupid. 

Ok, my lower spine is starting to settle down. I think I can go to sleep now. 

Random photo I took, yes you can borrow it

Thanks for reading. You make it worth coming back to the keyboard. I’ll see you next week. I promise to write this time. And just to leave you with some suspense, I may or may not have something up my sleeve. Tune to find out. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

It's Complicated

So once upon a time I created, er, a blog. Or was it born from the steal trap and rusty cage that is my mind? W/E. Point is that I started this dish towel with 4 things in mind: Reviews, Rants and Propaganda. While I've been really good with the last two, I've totally slacked on the first.

So in honored tradition, here is a review:

Google TV.

Why do I want one of these so badly? Well, a little back-story: Internet-TV has failed horribly up until about a few weeks ago. There were a few products, that escape my mind at the moment, that have pulled the plug at the monster that is Internet-TV.

Why does Google TV work? Crap, I don't know. I sure as heck love the smell of it though. No seriously, I've test driven it at BestBuy. Without a helmet.

I'm dangerous.

But the test drive was a bit off. The TV and all was great. I would say it scored 95% on the wicked-knarly-wild-cool scale. But I saw there are three options; the Sony built in version, the external Sony Google Blue Ray player and the Logitech.

Where am I going with this? Well I have an opinion and I think you'd better keep reading. Don't you try to browse away from me! DON'T LEAVE ME! WHY!?!

Sorry. So the conclusion would be that I'm leaning towards the Logitech brand. Comes with a keyboard and doesn't limit TV remote. I'm missing out on the Blue Ray but I still think the keyboard is mega-sweet.

I could write more about this but why?

Here's a random sentence:

Fred stopped yelling at the microwave as the trees swayed out side his apartment window and the neighborhood cat sits with a stare that could stop one dead in their tracks.

I think I'll do another review tomorrow and touch on the topic of chemical effects of rust and different alloys. Just kidding, I don’t think that hard. Toodles and happy Thursday!

The Orange Man Cometh!

You either love him or you don’t. A lot of people say they can’t stand him. Well, fortunately I’m here to correct those people. Anyone who doesn’t get his comedy can be forgiven. But only once.

Behold! The day comes when a man who from you will stand apart and above for his height is crazy. And you shall know him as Coco. His dance will lure you in and his hair will bring peace to the TV. Whoa are those whom watch the Networks for they know not the way of TBS.

Very Funny.

I might have over done it with the whole prophecy bit. November 8^th is the day. Can’t wait. I had to go to his site and watch episode zero. I his commercials are epic. 

Did you vote yesterday? Yeah? Cool. So did I. I’m not sure what the results are but I’m pretty sure everyone will find something to complain about. I’ve already noticed a trend on Facebook. There’s always good content on the comedy channels during this season because people who run our government get a chance to go out there and say stupid things. Outlawing masturbation. You can’t make that stuff up. It’s pure content.

Crap, I won’t get into it. I’d be here forever going on about how I should have won yesterday.

So how was your election ceremony experience? Please leave a response with a lovely tail of how you met some strangers and they looked at your drivers’ license and then you decided the fate of our world.

See you tomorrow!

Read My Blog - Save a Spiders Life! (just kidding)

In honor of the banner change, I have decided to do a marathon blog roll. *Cheering soundtrack plays in the background*  Ok, by marathon; I really mean one a day for the rest of this week. I owe it to you. You deserve it, especially after you made the decision to wear that shirt out in public.

Just kidding! I love you.

Still friends? Cool. We should come up with an inside handshake later.

So, just to update all the cool, awesome and totally perfect in ever way readers: I’m totally sick. I’ve been under the weather for a couple days now. It sucks. Being sick is like getting your leg caught in the car door and deciding to just go and drive with your foot exposed to all sorts of dangers like dogs with small bladders and fire hydrants and mailboxes and really small dinosaurs. Maybe I over dramatized that last sentence. Maybe I didn’t.

MS Word is telling me that one of those sentences is fragmented. Well MS Word isn’t paying for my therapy so MS Word can go eat a sandwich for all I care. MS Word is a spouse beating alcoholic. HA! Sometimes if you spread a rumor far enough, it reaches a new continent and declares independence and starts a new country call Farce-a-lot. MS Word should go to Farce-a-lot. It’s sort of ironic that I’m blasting the very program that makes the words you’re ready. That’s how I roll.

In addition to the new banner, you might notice my “About Me” is gone. Yeah, I replaced it with the poll. I don’t think it’s coming back.

ATTENTION ENTERING TRUTHFUL SECTION:

Ok, a lot of nonsense goes on here but this part is true. I wanted to give some information that you might be interested in. A month or so ago I found out my neighbors two doors down were cooking meth in their house. Just FYI.

ENDING TRUTHFUL SECTION AND RESUMING NONSENSE.

So yeah. It’s always interesting to find out what your neighbors are up to, especially if it comes in the form of a five year sentence (if it’s her first offense) felony charge. Who needs CNN when there are drug busts going on down the street?

STAR WARS 3D? Hell no!

Friends, Romans, countrymen - lend me your ears; I come to bury Bubba Fett, not to praise him.

I’m sorry, that’s all the culture you’ll get tonight. Or morning. It really depends when you read this. I honestly don’t know where to start. I could start with 1997 . . .

[Que scene blurry effect sequence]

I was 20 years old and getting ready for the Marine Corps. I was focused on losing weight and running 3 miles in under 24 minutes. The details are fuzzy but I remember a dingy low budget movie theater and some friends from college that wanted to go see . . . . drum roll . . . that’s what the little dots are . . .

Star Wars!

What? My first reaction was, and I quote: “Wahwahwah huh how? Bu bu but I haven’t heard anything about it!” And then I pee’d myself. Not really, but metaphorically. I went bananas. Again, not literally.

So I was pshysched. I thought it might even be better than the original. I went and I saw it and I scratched my head. Then the girl I went with said she didn’t want to go on another date. Bummer. The whole experience, looking back now, sucked. I can’t find a better way to describe it. I was like a vacuum sucking the cool out of this childhood dream that I collectively shared with my cousins and my brother.

But, to be critical of myself, I can understand how George (we’re not really on a first name basis) could do this. It’s his baby. It’s his masterpiece and his work of art. I once heard a beggar in Agrabah say, “A true artist will always review his/her work and will always want to perfect it.” Ok it wasn’t really in Agrabah, it was at school. Minor mistake. I’m getting off point here. Again. It’s a common theme here at LTNB.

But aside from trying to put myself in his shoes and the horrible remake, I really do like the Star Wars Series (Hexology?) Or do I? I did. I know that much. When my cousins and I and my brother would gaze at our action figures and the huge Darth Vador mask-thingy we stored them in, there was a gleam in our eye. We loved Star Wars. Loved it.

Something happened that summer of 97. It was like a series of “WTF’s” that were aligned against me.

I like 1,2 and 3. Yeah, yeah - Jar Jar is a douche, but I can get past that. Really bad acting too.

So what’s with my attitude? 4 out of 6 movies isn’t a bad track record. Well there’s this. Come on!! REALLY? Nice comic book work. Good thing I have a printer cause I’m running out of toilet paper. Nice job on the erotic Yobana. That goes great with my childhood. [insert more sarcastic hateful words]

And then there’s this: Napoleon Vador? Are you shitting me?

I’ve had it. I’m done. I’m turning in my Rebel Alliance badge. Flip you princess Leah. Thanks Lucas, for ruining what Jim Henson worked so hard on. Yeah, the CGI worked great! Idiot.

No, I'm not off my meds.

Flip the force! I’ve got a lightsaber and the right mind to shove . . .

I feel so let down. I’m very sad. I want to rant some more but some of you non-geeks are getting upset at the length of this post.

Harrison Ford is a creepy old man! Had to get that last one in.

Huh?

What the hell is going on?

I totally got this off the internet.
Don't sue.

There are monkeys - illegal monkeys - trying to cross our boarders and take the jobs of hard working U.S. monkeys! How about we change that law that's up for debate Mr. Obama and include the interrogation of monkeys.

Monkeys!

And while that is happening, this is happening. It's happening all over the place! You better watch out or you'll get some 'happen on you! (said with a southern accent)

I haven't posted in a while because my brain is still trying to comprehend some of this stuff. It's amazing. Keagan got in. Good for her. I hope those old dirty men can keep their filthy hands off her so she can do her job. Maybe there might be a supreme court calendar in the making. I wish. But who goes around declaring themselves "supreme." Kinda inflated if you ask me.

Pakistan (sorry if I didn't pronounce it right) is flooding. Someone call a plumber.

At least that oil thing is all done. Sheesh! What ever, the gulf was dirty long before BP burst a hemorrhoid 4 billion miles below the surface. And now there are eggs being recalled.

What the hell people? Who's running this donkey race? I think it's about time to forget about fixing stuff and just start blaming people. I will start with Sarah Peterson in Sandusky, Ohio. Yeah, you know damn well what you did. I hope you're proud of yourself. Thanks a lot! I hope a giant octopus falls on your head when you go to pee in a public restroom. Lets see you talk your way out of that.

Some good news. I was right! HA! I knew it! Rod Blagogo-manwhich was innocent! I told you! Please refer to older posts. He's totally off the hook. 1 out of 24 charges. And it was lying to the feds. Big deal! Everyone lies to the feds. The feds lie to us. It's the circle of lies *que lying king music. It's good to see Rod get off. He just looks like a stand up guy. The sort of guy you want to talk to in a bar. The sort of 'dude' you can trust with your money. The sort of guy you want in the bathroom stall next to you when your "restless leg syndrome" starts going off because you know he won't turn on you or flip out and tell the cops.

Nathan Keagan?

So things are doing good here. I'm pretty happy even though the temperature is a bazillion degrees. I think we've put a stop to the ants that have invaded the kitchen floor and we might be buying a mini van. My co workers think mini van is a cuss word. I don't know why. Apparently none of them have had a large load they've had to drive around.

I'm looking forward to some away time in Ashville N.C. It's right next to the Appalachian mountains and it's a cute little town. We won't be going to the Builtmore. They have enough money, they don't need ours. That's not the real reason, as we're not allowed to take photography there. Yeah right! They're gonna charge $50 a head and not let me take pictures.

Maybe I'll go just to clog their toilets. We'll stop at Taco Bell first.  : ]

Something I wanted to warn everyone about. It's pretty gross. You might have seen these in the grocery store sitting next to my beloved Cool Ranch Dorritos. Dorritos came out with a "Late Night" series. BLEGH! Do not try the Late Night Cheeseburger. Holy Hasslehoff they're disgusting. At first you think, "Hmm. This sort of taste like a cheeseburger on my dorrito. Oh wait. Something is happening in my mouth. Dear God no! ERGGHHHBBRLLRBBHPP" The taste will proceed to mutate into an elephant fart in your mouth. Swallow that.

Speaking of farts. The supreme court is going to induct another into it's "Cool Kids Only" club. This woman is so pretty I don't know what to think. When I look at her I can almost here her saying, "Hey. Hey you. Do you want to take me to the beach and rub coconut juice all over my back?"

I'm sorry. Here's a picture of her next to Nathan Lane. Shame on me.

Lightening Rod for Justice!

Rod will finally have his day in court today. Today the truth will ring forth and the media will have to retract all their opinions about Hot Rod Blago. How easily we turn our back on this hero, this champion of the common man, this portrayer of pompadour! All hail Rod Blagoyowsudgd.

I know that some of you may not know too much surrounding the case because the media has yet to report about it. I can’t find it anywhere on the TV. Well Rod is being accused of selling P2P (power to the people) versions of the movie “Far Cry.” When asked why he tried to sell the pirated movie on the internet he said, “I’ve got this thing and is floppin’ golden and you don’t give that away for zippin’ nothing.”  Rod Blagoadonovich is also accused of tampering with Georgia’s CRT test scores, breaking the oil pipe in the gulf of Mexico, riggin the elections in Iran, stealing candy from a baby, Darfor, and crimes against hair dressers.

Personally I think the government is doing a wonderful job at smearing a good guy’s name through the mud. They’re taking a perfectly innocent and caring person who only provides for the city of Chicago and they’re putting his nuts in a grinder. They’re taking a saint who walks on lake Michigan and cures disease with a twitch of his nose and they’re shoving hot coals and pepper spray up his poop shoot. They’re taking a super human who will be etched in our country’s history and they’re cutting off reproductive organs and flailing them around town square while chanting “Down with the Governor! Up with the Ice Cream!”

So I am here today to announce his innocence. FREE ROD BLAGOGENYVICTUS!

On a more happy note, Toy Story 3 is going to premiere next Friday. I suggest everyone go out and watch the film, it will be fantastically wonderful. They have a pretty good track record. Can you think of a “bad” Pixar movie? Me neither!

Here are some pictures of famous "Rods." Enjoy!

Flash Wars!

More nerd news. I know: you're not a nerd and you think highly of your self and you don't love sci fi movies and you're not really in a closet about computers and techie stuff. Right. Sure.

Actually you might find this interesting (or maybe not) if you are a big fan of Apple. I have a cousin that likes Apple and Macs. I actually enjoy using them and I consider myself bi-lingual. Either way, an Apple computer is just that: a computer. No need to start a cult and follow some guy around and hang on his every word even if he (or his company) re-invents the cell phone. No need to gush over this new iPad thing and get all crazy nutz and wait in line over night at the store for one. No need to cry in the shower when Whitney Houston comes on the radio...

"...But I know I'll think of you every step of the way
And IIIIiiiiiii...EEE...IIIIIiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiIII... Will always love you, oohh will always "

Sometimes you just have to let it out. (I love the sparkly background effects)

Well, back to the story, I was going to make a statement about a cult or something. Yeah, Apple has a huge following. Steve is their leader. They will crush any enemy Steve directs them towards. He wakes up at 4 am and levitates above the kitchen table and foresees the future. He's sort of like a wizard. Like a jedi. 

And so thus begins the Flash Wars.

Its actually not a really huge deal. It's a open source, DRM thing. If that doesn't make sense, it's ok. It's nerd-speak for . . . ummm  . . . something. Anyways, I've been reading up on this. A lot. Actually more than a lot. I have some interesting out takes from the flame forums. I thought you might enjoy.

All of the open systems rhetoric from Apple is just to distract the suckers.  - Jedidiah

One person's freedom is likely to be another's cage. - LLCI

But we'll conveniently ignore those things because... what's that behind you?!?! Look! Flash sucks! - fitten

I'm not a Flash developer. I don't know one whit of Flash. I do totally appreciate the amount of rework that needs to be done when the best platform for the job is disabled by your users. It sucks. Really, truly sucks. Move this pile of dirt. Now move it back with a smaller shovel and no cart.  - AlexFromOmaha

I profoundly object to Apple being able to choose what I can run and "experience", but Flash is not one of the things I'll run and enjoy on my non-Apple phone.  - Obarthelemy

Ok, the last one I added because it makes absolutely no sense. It's just someone adding their idea. An idea with no purpose. Much like a sentence without a verb. I read it 3 times trying to understand it and found no logic. Awesome.

So right now there are 2 sides. Forget about all the other companies and Microsoft. Just Adobe and Apple swinging sticks at each other. Pretty entertaining. Want to know something else entertaining? I've decided to enter the fight. I want in on the Flash Wars. I will be joining the battle as a 3rd party. Starting now. It is my grand and absolute pleasure to introduce to you . . . Pear.

I will have to find a way to annoy the Adobe company too but for now, I will just have to predict a future video in a certain mall "kiosk." I just used quotations because I don't like the word "kiosk." I don't have a good reason. It just offends me.

 

Spiders are Your Enemy

I'm so behind on updating my blog. I need to apologize to you, the reader. The kind soul that has found their way here. The hero of old whom casts fear to the wind and smiles upon justice. The very person responsible for my fate in an upside down world full of rabid dogs and robots with naughty attitudes.

I think there are a few stories that I need to revisit. You may or may not know (depending on how much of this garbage you read) that I reported Tim Tebow is a cyborg with a canon arm who can't loose football games. Well we know how that went last year. He was drafted to the NFL. Plays for the Donkeys or something.

On the last post I mentioned some angst feelings towards soggy disgusting boiled peanuts. I still hate them. Nothing changed there. However, I would also like to add spiders to that list of stuff that makes me bonkers. Spiders have only one place in this world. And that place is hell.

Kind of dramatic huh?  = ]  I like to make things interesting.

Read. Think. Flush. Repeat.

Tower this is Melta flight 86. We are on approach to M.A.N. with an ETA of 25 minutes. Copy.

Melta this is tower, we are sorry but you will have to avert landing due to a toxic fart that has erupted from Mt. EHGSWJKELH.

Tower, could you please repeat the name of the Mountain?

Flight 86, it is Mt. EHGSWJKELH. Do you copy?

Roger Tower. I copy Mt. EHGSWJKELH. Are you sure you are pronouncing it right?

Flight 86, BRB bathroom break. Out.

--Five minutes later--

Tower this is flight 86. I can see the dark fart in the distance. It looks horrible. We're going to turn around now. Call us if you need anything.
TTFN. Over.

Ok, now I know a lot of people are uber pissed that they missed their flights. Totally understandable and I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. Or flip flops. Or high heals. What ever.

I have sympathy for people stuck in an airport. I was stuck in one for 2 years. It's true. Some what. I worked there.

Bottom line is there may or may not be some complications with ashes collecting in an engine intake. Do you want to be the first person that finds out the results? I think we can all answer that with big fat hell no.

Another silver lining (quite the optimist today for some reason) to this disaster is that everyone should have fun "people-watching" others in the airport wearing their new citizen uniforms. If you are unfamiliar with this new policy please click here.

All in all, no one was killed in a plane crash due to inclimate weather. I'm going to take a different stance than all the critics. Good job European governments. Horay! Hip hip horay! "For they are jolly good fellows, for they are jolly good fellows!"

Ok, now that I'm done with that BS, here's some more: I was sitting in my cube today, And I hade a brief conversation with Tyler. He inspired me to write this Haiku.

Fall my friendly leaves.
The windmill blows us apart.
Float towards your fate.

I think I officially need a drink. Or the whole bottle. Weekend, here I come.

Read. Think. Flush. Repeat.

I almost forgot to wish everyone a happy Earth Day. What is the premise of this holiday? I propose that it is; "We live on a planet. It's called Earth."
Something unbelievably simple. I guess it's hard to be thankful for the Earth when I haven't been to any other planets. I know a lot of you wish I would visit one. Cough cough.

Awkward pause.

Some of you may or may not know that I used to be the organizer behind a hate group. Whoa. Easy there. Don't call the police! The hate group was named "The Boiled Peanut Hate Group." It had to do a lot with what is going on down here in the South. A lot to do with disgusting and filthy trash that is sold along the side of the road. A lot to do with a bunch oh "Hoo Haa" if you will.

Well the group is officially dismantled. It had to die in order to make way for this nonsense. I see it as a trade off. Much like how Ben Rothlisburgers needs to be traded to Pakistan.

Crisis Averted!

And, as promised, I am pleased to announce the first ever LTNB awards for the biggest failure of 2009. At first I didn't think we'd have a winner because I was the only person to vote, but it turns out, there are 2 others.

Here is a link to the video for the awards. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQt3o0pD7aw Not very exciting but at least there is more information. Please take note of the awesome T-shirt I'm wearing! Ha.

In all honesty, I thought the vote was going to be just me. I had planned to accept the award MYSELF! I was the only voter during the month of March. So I had a bag of shame, [which I will wear during any Falcons - Eagles game] which I constructed from a normal grocery bag. Paper: I recycle! But the crisis was averted. 2 people voted yesterday. Amazing!

Some strange and wild stuff happened last week. I went to a town in northern Georgia named Helen. It's an interesting town and if you visit it, you'll have the similar feeling of having stepped into Fantasy Land from Disney.

And here are a few silly pictures of Helen GA.

Attention All Nerds!

Ok, once upon a time there was a movie. This movie was made with state of the art (for it's time) computer generated graphics. It was a really cool movie with horrible character development. It was the very first of it's kind and it was about a video game and maybe a little bit more.

Turn the clock ahead 20 years and well, it's time to recycle an old idea. Maybe even develop a character or two.

You may know Jeff Bridges from Iron Man as the bad guy. You might have even seen him in Big Lebowski. He's the son of a man who said "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking" in one of the funniest movies ever filmed and dare I say; ever watched! Airplane was a great movie. Even the sequel held up. It's too damn hilarious.

I'm officially off topic now.

Back to Tron. That's what I'm trying to get at. Jeff Bridges was a geeky skinny kid back then and now he's in the squeal and Tron - Legacy looks pretty sweet. It's something to do with futuristic motorcycles that makes every nerd happy. There are two trailers out now but I don't have the links. I was too busy making my own graphic so that I don't get sued by Disney.

State of my TV Address

I wood [misspelled intentionately] like to talk a little about TV. Now this isn't a normal "talk" because you are unable to reply to what I say as I'm writing it. Even though, technically I'm not saying it all, I'm actually typing it. So I guess I'm not writing it either. Just typing.

Oh right: TV! Ok, so I pretty much hate TV now. I was all giddy about the sci-fi return of "V" with the aliens and all but they took a break. Aliens have very strict contracts. Everything on TV sucks. The Apprentice sucks. The Bachelor sucks. The reality island show where people "survive" sucks. I can't watch news or CNN with out thinking "I could be wasting my time some other way right now."

Please allow me to continue with the suck awards.

American Idol sucks. Lost sucks. "So You Think You Can Step Up and Dance with the Stars" sucks. See what I did there? Pretty clever huh? Housewives sucks. All of the crap that is on MTV officially sucks. Bravo should just give up. "Cooking with Angry Chefs" sucks.

So what doesn't suck? Well the late shows are usually entertaining. Conan is on hiatus or limbo or whatever. Steven Colbert comes on at 11:30 at night which is just too late for me. And I love Steven. He kicks face and takes names. And finally I have to say something about Community. Community is sarcasm with a dash of awesome mixed into a cake full of greatness. It's very fast paced and has a sense of 80's pop culture being that it is somewhat like "The Breakfast Club."

No redhead though.

Joel McHale. Joel Joel Joel. Sounds like a happy Christmas song. I know, I know. Chevy Chase is in it to. Who cares? I saw Chevy in the 80's. His time is over. He's the creepy guy in this show. I guess that's where he belongs though. He hit big with National Lampoons and Cady Shack. That's it. Nothing else. This is the time of Joel. If you don't know much about Mr. McHale, please watch every episode of The Soup. Do it now. Stop reading this.

Wasn't it funny? What? You didn't watch it?!?! STOP READING!

Ok, so that's how funny The Soup is. And the Community plays off of Joel's over the top ego humor. It's really good and my Mom and I sat down to watch 4 episodes on InDemand. It really is a perfect show. Here is a picture I ripped off the Internet. I would credit http://artculture.com for the photo but they did not credit anyone for the photo. Do unto others...

Tim Burton Fan!

Thought I'd include this. Just because I have unlimited power in this blog and I can say or bark anything that shoots out of my mouth.

So if you happen to be at Northpoint in Alpharetta at this exact time you may join. But don't bring any ugly friends. The ugly group is meeting at 7:48.

Where's the Shovel?!

So it's snowing. A lot. I recently watched an episode of Stephen Colbert's factual and compelling TV show. It's only a half hour long, but I always beg for more at the end of each viewing. "Please Stephen, please. Just one little encore. I must have more truth." In the show there was a segment about cold it is outside. Of course the satire kicked in immediately. I don't remember verbatim what he said but it was along the lines of how all the snow in Washington DC goes to disprove all this global warming. It went on and on and I'm thinking, "Wow. It's sad that the facts have to be wrapped up in a joke to make it's way onto TV." Sorry, no punchline to this story. Just reflecting out loud.
Here is a sample of the snow in Atlanta. I went out in the snow today to brave the outdoor wilderness. Yesterday I did the same. I was taking pictures and some guy chased me off his property. Apparently he doesn't want me taking pictures of his bathroom window. Whatever. I have a constitutional right to walk into his kitchen if I want to. Don't believe me?

Enough about my life as a paparazzi photographer. Comment on this blog and let me know how much white stuff you got this week. [I'm not talking about coke, you need to check into a clinic] It will be interesting to see how much snow everyone is getting. Thanks for reading!

Jane Says:

Lollapalooza. It was the summer before I started high school. I was young and dumb and wanted to go to a concert. It was my first concert ever and it was being held at the Central Florida Fairgrounds. It was so big that it had to be held out doors and there were more bands than I could shake a stick at. The atmosphere was like a horde of gypsies and punkers with clothes that I hadn't seen before. Hair defied gravity.

Alison Johnson and I spent a lot of time walking around checking things out. There were tents set up with circus acts and the usual venders selling cheep crap for unbelievable prices. New tee shirts were quickly muddied up by the mosh pit. After hours of entertainment and a list of bands that weren't norm for mainstream radio the day drew to a close and the sunset. When the others had finished, all the lights that were on went off. People started cheering and I was livid. I couldn't take my eyes from where the stage was once visible.

Then I heard the base line for Mountain Song. "COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN"

The flood lights went up. Jane’s Addiction started wailing. I didn't hear any of the music they played. I felt it. It's something that I vividly remember to this day. I've been to many concerts but this was the one that couldn't be topped. In 2003 I was able to see them again. This time I would bring my other friend, Will Bess and his girlfriend. But he fell through and wasn't able to come up with the money or some other excuse. I don't talk to Will any more. I think drugs have taken most of his life away from him and it is very sad. I went down to West Palm Beach alone and had a really good time. It was different this time and there was more stuff being sold and Audioslave was the highlight for me. Jane's Addiction came on last and had the usual electric neon light wild-circus-gone-bad aura going on. It was really fun but it wasn't like the Lollapalooza from 91.

I am pleased to announce that Perry Farrel is writing more music and the next step is another album. This made my day.

WARNING! This post contains the words: "Mariah Carey"

REVIEW:
Star Trek, released in 2009. The highly anticipated and probably the more talked about movie in the summer of 2009. Why did it get so much attention? Isn't it just another Star Trek film? Shame on you for thinking along those lines. I am not a 'Trekkie' but I do like Star Trek. I find it more realistic than Star Wars and it has more charisma than a lot of other sci-fi movies in general. Some people will hate me for the Star Wars comment but I like Star Wars too. Oh flip it. What I'm trying to say is that I'm a huge damn nerd. I would go into the dynamics of why Star Trek is more realistic and how I like the naval influence but you would just end up in a frenzy.

Back to the subject at hand. This installation to the Star Trek legacy is amazing because ultimately there are actors acting like actors that did a good job. I said 'good job' because it's extremely hard to harness the swagger of Captain Kirk or the dead pan of Spock. It was toned down for realism purposes but it shouldn't have been. I wanted to experience the hesitation in Kirk's voice. Maybe even a zoom in on his expression. Spock also has a certain confidence that might not have been there because of how the character was written. But overall the spirit was there and that's what counts. It took me about 30 seconds of saying "Who is that guy [Nero]" but I finally recognized the mouth and said 'Eric Bana!' Which was good, I think he did a good job as a villain. The plot, in true form, was confusing as usual. The only big problem (which is easily overlooked) I had was the design of the ship. I've seen a lot of Star Trek films so I know that if this is the prequel to all the other movies, the design of the ship should look old and simplistic, like the 70's version. It wasn't. Regardless of all these small issues, which I'm working out with my therapist, I loved the movie! I really really did. It was great to see Star Trek take a turn from the course it was on [no pun intended] and do something different. I'm glad the borg wasn't in the movie. I was expecting a Klingon or two but that's ok. I give this movie a 10 out of 10. I watched it twice in 3 days and plan to watch it again soon.

So right about now you're wondering what the hell does this have to do with Mariah. You are, aren't you??

I like Aerosmith. Actually I love the guys. I think they kick face and take prisoners. One of the things I think about when I hear that name is a wide mouthed dude dancing around in some raggy clothes and hitting some extreme high notes. Steven Tyler is having some rough patches but it's not new to him. He's a tough guy and he's very entertaining. How can you think of Aerosmith without Steven? I can't. I was going to post a few links to this story but I don't have to, you can find them all over the internet. There are a few quoting band mates that are saying he might be replaced. Then Rolling Stone has a quote from Steven saying he'll be back, everything is cool. It's hard to know what's really going to happen.

Why would they even try to replace him?!? Come on Joe, you know damn well that if you try to put someone in Steven's shoes it's like putting Mariah Carey in public office. People will suffer. Some things just can't be replaced and Steven is one of those things. Well actually he's a person, not a thing. Tim Geithner could step in for Mariah while she serves on the Board of Certified Trashy Singers. I wouldn't vote for her. I'd vote for Aerosmith and then propose an amendment to ban boiled peanuts.

Photo courtesy of: www.yourmoviestuff.com [http://www.yourmoviestuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/star-trek-symbol.jpg]

Theres a Little Black Dot on my Blog Todaaaayyyyyyy!

King of pain! I'll always be k . . . [look of astonishment] !! HEY, I'm still using the bathroom!

Isn't it great when someone catches you singing. You think to yourself, "ok, it's alright that I'm alone and no one will be tortured if I wail on this Wham! tune out loud." But oh no, you're never alone. Sometimes I like to roll down my windows and just sing my lungs out whilst in traffic. Rock music does that to some people.

I'm sorry, I'm totally off track again.

I owe and apology to Jennifer who posted a response last year and I did not get to it until tonight. Normally I would ask for forgiveness [even beg or bribe with chocolate] but tonight I'm going to make up an excuse. Back in November I was racing home to answer the blog post. I had just finished a long day working at the DMV handing out license plates and polishing shoes. I had to stop at S-mart [lol, Army of Darkness reference] and pick up some grapes to feed my kangaroo at home when a mindless 96 year old woman came out of no where and ran over my foot with her wheel chair. I think she had NOS installed in that chair.

So I wasn't able to respond correctly. It's there now so no harm done.

Ok, I went through my older posts and tried to find the one about people who do not knock on bathroom doors. I believe I went on babbling, in true form, about how I think people should knock on the restroom stall door. I've complained to a lot of people about this and everyone's response is along the lines of "I just look under the wall partition thing." Well it happened again today. I locked the stall, which actually did have a handle this time, not a stupid latch. No knock. Just a jiggle.

I'm sorry, you read all the way to the end of this post and all you got was a jiggle. It sucks. I know. There, there.  : ]

Image made possible by http://imperfectaction.com/blog/2009/04/02/entrepreneurship/a-granny-that-kicks-butt/

[Insert Title Here]

For the most part this blog can be mean and unforgiving. One might even go as far as saying "harsh." But in my twisted world, it is fair. I try to be fair. You see, if I notice someone picking thier nose in their car, I'm not going to say word one about it. The reasoning is that by picking one's nose, one does no harm to others. It may look gross and disgusting but if you should decide to pick your nose, so be it. Now. If you wear something completely knarly and you want to draw attention to yourself, I will be happy to write about you. Be warned. But not everything I write is a slam on someone or something and it is also hard to know what is going to come out before I push it out. EENNNRRGHHH!

I hope that seams reasonable. No? OK.

My Facebook is down. I disabled/destroyed/neglected it. I'm not sure what happened but I ended up with two accounts. There were two of me!!! Could you imagine? I think it would be horrible because my ego is too damn huge. It would be too much sexy. I know you agree.

Blog back!

So here's the concept: I would like to have a more 'interactive' blog. Here is your writing assignment. Comment below ~

What would you do with your identicle clone? Play a game, go to the circus, visit the liquor store or would you two sit on the couch? Have fun and make some nonsense!

McGwire Who?

Before going on about something very important that you will regret reading, I would like to acknowledge the new and improved banner graphic. I paid a Chinese refugee from Fuzhou to create it. At first he had a picture of a crane flying over a mountain and I almost barfed. After some motivational speech and a dash of violence he created the masterpiece you behold at the top of this blog. Also, please not that there is a new Dooms-Day gadget on the right hand side with some information about WW3.

I've noticed recently that people [in general] are very nice these days. I'm always getting compliments on how well I shaved this day and "nice choice of socks!" on that day and "Fantastic hair buddy!" all the time. I love it and I just want to take the time to acknowledge these people for brightening up my day.

Now, having said that, I'd like to examine, with a scientific approach, the situation at hand. Someone in the government used the "N" word. Senator Harry Reid is from Searchlight, Nevada. He is a democrat and a huge supporter of Barrack Obama. He supported him so much that he went as far as saying, "...light-skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

Here you can see an image of Mr. Reid without his white hood on.

Now naturally I usually don't use a lot of Photoshop [lie] but I felt obligated to fix Harry's hand in this instance.

And yes, I am aware that the President has given him a full pardon and accepted his apology. I'm aware that it is custom to forgive and let live. I am also savvy to the fact that mustard has no place on a chicken sandwich. But this isn't my first rodeo. This blog wasn't born yesterday. The keyboard I type on may be from DELL but there sure as shit ain't no farmer in it. You ain't pulling no golden fleece over my eyes!

Damn it, there goes my southern accent.

So what do we do about it? Should we say, "Oh well, he's human." Shall we accept; "We should forgive and allow him to pass laws." Is it correct to re-elect him? Hell yes! Let's throw him a parade while we're at it too. We can follow it up with a ceremony and present him with a bigotry medal of honor. Screw it, let's chisel out a statue of him holding a noose.

If you ask me, which no one should ever do, I would say this whole thing is a cover up story to take the spot light off of Mark McGwire.

Photo courtesy of www.cityweekly.net. However, the image is everywhere on the Internet.

You Can't Handle my Truth!

My Uncle Jerry and I have come to a conclusion for the whole "Tiger Woods" issue. He can't play golf anymore. Well, I mean, he could. If he needs to 'swing his stick' around more he's more than welcome. He can't advertise because no one wants to pay the guy. His wife will be leaving with a lump sum and I'm guessing he'll be bored with not much to do.

Well, he's met all the requirements for politics. He could be the next John Edwards! Vote for Tiger!!

I'm sure some of you are wondering why I haven't mentioned the 'Backdoor Bomber' (aka TNT Testicles, aka Captain Explosive Colon). The guy had plastic explosives strapped to his nuts. It's almost too easy to make fun of this jerk. I would say 'asshole' but I want to keep the cuss words to a minimum. The thing infuriates me but also, I'm glad no one was hurt. So why haven't I written about it? I've been busy. A lot has been going on with me so sorry.

Here we go.

Solution to security issues at airports across the globe!! I know this is a bit much but what is more important than safety?!? When I fly on a plane, which is rare now-a-days with all the lunatics out there, I like to know that I'm safe and that means scrutinizing every last damn person I see.

JOHN GOSLING UPDATE! One of his 23 children just made a poo poo! [this update brought to you by Vag-a-pill!]

I don't care if the wheel chair bound woman who is over the age of 95 can't even open her eyes. I want to know what is under her wig!! I don't care if someone is an Eskimo flying home to his/her igloo and is only carrying fish in his/her suitcase. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF FISH!! I kind of want to smell it too for some weird reason.

So here is the solution: Speedos.

I know what you're thinking. "My God, why hasn't anyone else thought of that?" Unfortunately I don't have an answer for that rhetorical question but I do have a picture of the new 'airport uniform' that we can make every last person on planet earth wear. At first I thought there would be some set backs, such as a 420 lbs person wearing a Speedo that no one can see, but I'd rather see the fat rolls [I have a few myself] than see a bomb. I'd rather see pubic hair than death. I'd rather see some acne than see another person hurt.

Women will have to wear two Speedos at a time in countries that oppress boobies.

NO THONGS! Completely unacceptable.

Reading this Will Make Your Love Life Better!!

HA! The title worked! Advertising is like that sometimes. It's not exactly the truth*. It's amazing what some people print these days and the horse crap that is driving the sales pitch. I won't go into specifics because I'm an advertiser, but if I had to use a case-in-point, I would say "Head On, apply directly to the forehead." If you don't remember that annoying ad then I'm sure you know of another.

So in tradition with this blog, I will now change directions and write something completely out of place.

I'm reading books. Yes, plural, as in more than one. I just finished an online version of "A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr." I was looking for a quote from MLK but couldn't find it in these sermons so I kept looking. Another book I'm reading now is "Failures of the Presidents" which is a factual book about some of the decisions America has made. Both are very interesting reads.

It's starting to snow in Atlanta. I'll be driving through it up to Pennsylvania tomorrow so wish me luck.

*The truth may vary from business to business and does not include batteries. Facts sold separately.

Avatar!

Whilst on my adventure to the territory known as "Florida" my brother in law concocted a simply wonderful idea. James Cameron's Avatar in 3D Imax!!! Whilst surviving the whirlwind of presents and yelling and Ryan peeing on different individuals there was a glorious window of peace.

My brother [in-law] James and his friend met me in Altamonte Springs for the movie of the year. It is hands down the top sci-fi movie of 2009. I would say more but a lot of people would argue about film and acting and drama and blah and blah and you get the point.

So, having said all that, I can go back and explain how happy I was to go to Florida and visit with my relatives and friends. I didn't get to spend enough time with Gloria and Bryant. Gloria is my best friend and Bryant looked really great in the 80's (i saw the modeling pictures!) I took some time to relax in Tampa with Robin's Dad and got into some shenanigans with a pizza manager at Robin's moms' house. I did have a good time but the drive down took a serious toll.

WARNING! AVATAR PLOT LINE AHEAD!

So don't read this unless you are dangerous like a panther prowling through the jungle out of it's mind on a heroine binge. No seriously, go see the movie instead of listening to me pick it apart. There was applause in the theater at the end of the movie if that says anything.

The 3D was done well. It wasn't in your face gimmicks, but rather it flowed with what was happening in the movie and seemed more realistic. The opening scene of soldiers and volunteers or mercenaries set the tone for the whole movie. The perspective was that of a floating view in zero gravity of people waking from hyper-sleep (hyperspace?) The main character was to take his brother's position as a sort of diplomat for an alien race. Being a Marine, he didn't know the alien language or traditions and so was ordered to supply security. Sigorney Weaver plays a supporting role and I was hoping to see her sweaty with a flame thrower for old times sake.

The whole idea is that the Marine controls an alien bio-clone through telepathy-like computer signal. He becomes more and more entranced with the alien surroundings as well as the culture of the aliens themselves. After being hazed and befriended he gains their trust and finds out that the Marine command is gunning for action regardless of diplomacy. After falling in love with an alien, he decides to fend for the aliens instead of the greedy settlers. The good guys win in the end. Er, good aliens.

The aliens were all CGI. But there was a lot of talk about how Cameron waited for the technology to catch up to the movie. His wait was worth it. It was beautiful and bright as well as technically different than any other CG movie I've seen. This movie will set a milestone for other directors to try and top. I think the contrast between the corporation settlement and the alien tribesmen was also well illustrated. New and dangerous creatures and wildlife added the finishing touches to a film that can not be ignored. Bravo!

To Florida and Back

My wife and I went down to Florida last week for the Holidays. First we stopped in Leesburg, then made our way to Deltona. After visiting with my parents we packed our things and made our way down to St. Petersburg. Robin's friend lives there so we stopped by to visit briefly and then made our way to Largo. From Largo we went to Tampa where her dad lives. After a night there we came home to Atlanta.

All this with a 5 month old isn't easy.

But Christmas was great and we got to do the presents thing with everyone. I was so tired Christmas morning that I tried to get more sleep in the car outside. That never works. Sleeping in a car is awful unless you bring some sort of padding. I got a funny picture of my son with a bow on his head and he looks totally goofy.

I'm sad to say my photo shoot at Sonics wasn't what I'd hoped it to be. I haven't heard back from the manager about doing family portraits so that didn't work out and I didn't get any emails or calls from him to go shoot the high school.

I got a chance to talk to my buddy Tij today on the way to get lunch. He is hilarious. When we get together, things get pretty crazy. We reminisced about the New Years of 2002. We were in Las Vegas with his wife and his brother Ajay. We had so much damn fun. If you want to have a good time and really make some stories, go to Vegas with people that are nuts and enjoy a few drinks. It turns into an adventure. I told Tij that my New Years resolution is to stop making fun of the Snuggie. I've joked around about how extremely insane the Snuggie is only to find out the present company owns one. I always feel stupid when I tell a joke that is offensive to people. It sucks.

Hope 2010 is as good as 2009 and I hope we all get to 2011!