Monday, December 6, 2010

I Left My Heart in San Fransisco

Well, where do I start? I got the Christmas lights up. Turkey day is behind us. Things are getting colder in North Atlanta. I’ve been working on my site some more at home but it still needs more attention. My son is so flipping cute my head spins around a little bit from time to time.

I guess I should mention my trip to the hospital. First time ever and it wasn’t too much fun, but then again, is it ever? I had chest pains Sunday night. “Chest pain” is a password for anyone wanting to get into the ER quickly. Tell someone you have that and they’ll be all over you. Actually don’t, it’s not cool.

I got to the hospital at about midnight. Told the peeps what was going on. They, expectantly, looked at me like, “ah, here comes the fat kid.” So immediately I was in robes and some nurse snagged my IV line. Wow, that didn’t feel good. Not to worry my most valued and beloved readers: the drugs were next! No more chest pains. Happy thoughts and a nice lady named Misty shaving my chest. The EKG didn’t go the way she wanted to, so it was fun to have half my chest shaved. 

No worries compadres! I still have half of my chest hair.  : ]

After the EKG fun, a cardio Dr. named Bruno came in and fell apart on me. He looked at me with all the fear he could muster. “Sir, your readings aren’t good and we need to get a better look at what is going on with your heart. We will need to take you to the cath lab and insert a cath into your artery to take X-rays and find the problem. Once we see the blockage, we can determine how severe and if there are multiple blockages we will have to perform open heart surgery.”

“Just sign here.”

Ok, so at that point my jaw is on the floor and 2 other nurses are looking pretty grave, holding needles and I only had 1 question, “Will there be another consultation after the procedure?” Next thing I knew, I was off with Misty and a few new friends to a place with people wearing cool green ninja gear. The “cocktail” they had inserted into my IV line was kicking in and it was party time. Some big guy (I think he worked out) did some more shaving and then it was poky poke time in my crotch while a few women talked about technical doctor stuff.

My everything was exposed to a group of people I hadn’t met before and Dr. Dawn was looking at me as if I had escaped the zoo, the mood was fairly tense and I should “remain still.” Apart from all this happening, I wasn’t embarrassed for some reason. I didn’t feel like the half naked drugged guy on a table at all.
And that was that. They pumped the iodine through my heart, got the x-rays and then I was consulted by another doctor who told me it was a chest infection that got to my heart muscles. Did I mention the drugs? They were good.

So I’m a little off from the normal lately. I’m sorry for the lack of “funny” in this post. But there’s always tomorrow.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow!


  1. Wow, what a harrowing experience! I'm glad to hear it wasn't a blockage! I'm sure your family is very grateful to have you with them. Something like this tends to put things in perspective.

  2. It sure did. Thanks for the comment, and on behalf of my family: Happy Holidays!

    On a side note, I am also glad there wasn't a blockage. Blockages are just bad. Traffic is a blockage. Constipation is a blockage. Writers block is a blockage.