Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Nathan Keagan?

So things are doing good here. I'm pretty happy even though the temperature is a bazillion degrees. I think we've put a stop to the ants that have invaded the kitchen floor and we might be buying a mini van. My co workers think mini van is a cuss word. I don't know why. Apparently none of them have had a large load they've had to drive around.

I'm looking forward to some away time in Ashville N.C. It's right next to the Appalachian mountains and it's a cute little town. We won't be going to the Builtmore. They have enough money, they don't need ours. That's not the real reason, as we're not allowed to take photography there. Yeah right! They're gonna charge $50 a head and not let me take pictures.

Maybe I'll go just to clog their toilets. We'll stop at Taco Bell first.  : ]

Something I wanted to warn everyone about. It's pretty gross. You might have seen these in the grocery store sitting next to my beloved Cool Ranch Dorritos. Dorritos came out with a "Late Night" series. BLEGH! Do not try the Late Night Cheeseburger. Holy Hasslehoff they're disgusting. At first you think, "Hmm. This sort of taste like a cheeseburger on my dorrito. Oh wait. Something is happening in my mouth. Dear God no! ERGGHHHBBRLLRBBHPP" The taste will proceed to mutate into an elephant fart in your mouth. Swallow that.

Speaking of farts. The supreme court is going to induct another into it's "Cool Kids Only" club. This woman is so pretty I don't know what to think. When I look at her I can almost here her saying, "Hey. Hey you. Do you want to take me to the beach and rub coconut juice all over my back?"

I'm sorry. Here's a picture of her next to Nathan Lane. Shame on me.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Lightening Rod for Justice!

Rod will finally have his day in court today. Today the truth will ring forth and the media will have to retract all their opinions about Hot Rod Blago. How easily we turn our back on this hero, this champion of the common man, this portrayer of pompadour! All hail Rod Blagoyowsudgd.

I know that some of you may not know too much surrounding the case because the media has yet to report about it. I can’t find it anywhere on the TV. Well Rod is being accused of selling P2P (power to the people) versions of the movie “Far Cry.” When asked why he tried to sell the pirated movie on the internet he said, “I’ve got this thing and is floppin’ golden and you don’t give that away for zippin’ nothing.”  Rod Blagoadonovich is also accused of tampering with Georgia’s CRT test scores, breaking the oil pipe in the gulf of Mexico, riggin the elections in Iran, stealing candy from a baby, Darfor, and crimes against hair dressers.

Personally I think the government is doing a wonderful job at smearing a good guy’s name through the mud. They’re taking a perfectly innocent and caring person who only provides for the city of Chicago and they’re putting his nuts in a grinder. They’re taking a saint who walks on lake Michigan and cures disease with a twitch of his nose and they’re shoving hot coals and pepper spray up his poop shoot. They’re taking a super human who will be etched in our country’s history and they’re cutting off reproductive organs and flailing them around town square while chanting “Down with the Governor! Up with the Ice Cream!”

So I am here today to announce his innocence. FREE ROD BLAGOGENYVICTUS!

On a more happy note, Toy Story 3 is going to premiere next Friday. I suggest everyone go out and watch the film, it will be fantastically wonderful. They have a pretty good track record. Can you think of a “bad” Pixar movie? Me neither!

Here are some pictures of famous "Rods." Enjoy!