Thursday, October 29, 2009

Me and My Big Mouth

This just in! Jon Gosselin was just seen eating a sandwich! Amazing!!

The plot thickens. 2 days after I announce my disapproval of President Obama’s decision to send more Soldiers and Marines to the Middle East, a foreign national [or government official?] resigns his post in Afghanistan. 2 days after that, the UN building there gets hit by the Taliban. I have a friend over in Kabul and he wasn’t too far from where the attack went down.

It’s all a little too much in one week for me. So now I will turn to a more important topic:

Jon Gosselin is dating a lesbian!

Michael Jackson’s dead corpse raises from the grave to produce a movie! Wooo hoo! I can’t wait to waste 10 bucks on a pedophiling dancer with no nose! Where do I wait for tickets?!? I’m so anxious! Seriously though, who the hell in their right mind . . . oh nevermind. Give him an Oscar next year so we can see more has-beens dance around on stage in his honor. Great. Good. Nice.

UPDATE! Jon just stormed off in the middle of his lesbian date!

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