Flash Wars!

More nerd news. I know: you're not a nerd and you think highly of your self and you don't love sci fi movies and you're not really in a closet about computers and techie stuff. Right. Sure.

Actually you might find this interesting (or maybe not) if you are a big fan of Apple. I have a cousin that likes Apple and Macs. I actually enjoy using them and I consider myself bi-lingual. Either way, an Apple computer is just that: a computer. No need to start a cult and follow some guy around and hang on his every word even if he (or his company) re-invents the cell phone. No need to gush over this new iPad thing and get all crazy nutz and wait in line over night at the store for one. No need to cry in the shower when Whitney Houston comes on the radio...

"...But I know I'll think of you every step of the way
And IIIIiiiiiii...EEE...IIIIIiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiIII... Will always love you, oohh will always "

Sometimes you just have to let it out. (I love the sparkly background effects)

Well, back to the story, I was going to make a statement about a cult or something. Yeah, Apple has a huge following. Steve is their leader. They will crush any enemy Steve directs them towards. He wakes up at 4 am and levitates above the kitchen table and foresees the future. He's sort of like a wizard. Like a jedi. 

And so thus begins the Flash Wars.

Its actually not a really huge deal. It's a open source, DRM thing. If that doesn't make sense, it's ok. It's nerd-speak for . . . ummm  . . . something. Anyways, I've been reading up on this. A lot. Actually more than a lot. I have some interesting out takes from the flame forums. I thought you might enjoy.

All of the open systems rhetoric from Apple is just to distract the suckers.  - Jedidiah

One person's freedom is likely to be another's cage. - LLCI

But we'll conveniently ignore those things because... what's that behind you?!?! Look! Flash sucks! - fitten

I'm not a Flash developer. I don't know one whit of Flash. I do totally appreciate the amount of rework that needs to be done when the best platform for the job is disabled by your users. It sucks. Really, truly sucks. Move this pile of dirt. Now move it back with a smaller shovel and no cart.  - AlexFromOmaha

I profoundly object to Apple being able to choose what I can run and "experience", but Flash is not one of the things I'll run and enjoy on my non-Apple phone.  - Obarthelemy

Ok, the last one I added because it makes absolutely no sense. It's just someone adding their idea. An idea with no purpose. Much like a sentence without a verb. I read it 3 times trying to understand it and found no logic. Awesome.

So right now there are 2 sides. Forget about all the other companies and Microsoft. Just Adobe and Apple swinging sticks at each other. Pretty entertaining. Want to know something else entertaining? I've decided to enter the fight. I want in on the Flash Wars. I will be joining the battle as a 3rd party. Starting now. It is my grand and absolute pleasure to introduce to you . . . Pear.

I will have to find a way to annoy the Adobe company too but for now, I will just have to predict a future video in a certain mall "kiosk." I just used quotations because I don't like the word "kiosk." I don't have a good reason. It just offends me.

 

Spiders are Your Enemy

I'm so behind on updating my blog. I need to apologize to you, the reader. The kind soul that has found their way here. The hero of old whom casts fear to the wind and smiles upon justice. The very person responsible for my fate in an upside down world full of rabid dogs and robots with naughty attitudes.

I think there are a few stories that I need to revisit. You may or may not know (depending on how much of this garbage you read) that I reported Tim Tebow is a cyborg with a canon arm who can't loose football games. Well we know how that went last year. He was drafted to the NFL. Plays for the Donkeys or something.

On the last post I mentioned some angst feelings towards soggy disgusting boiled peanuts. I still hate them. Nothing changed there. However, I would also like to add spiders to that list of stuff that makes me bonkers. Spiders have only one place in this world. And that place is hell.

Kind of dramatic huh?  = ]  I like to make things interesting.

Read. Think. Flush. Repeat.

Tower this is Melta flight 86. We are on approach to M.A.N. with an ETA of 25 minutes. Copy.

Melta this is tower, we are sorry but you will have to avert landing due to a toxic fart that has erupted from Mt. EHGSWJKELH.

Tower, could you please repeat the name of the Mountain?

Flight 86, it is Mt. EHGSWJKELH. Do you copy?

Roger Tower. I copy Mt. EHGSWJKELH. Are you sure you are pronouncing it right?

Flight 86, BRB bathroom break. Out.

--Five minutes later--

Tower this is flight 86. I can see the dark fart in the distance. It looks horrible. We're going to turn around now. Call us if you need anything.
TTFN. Over.

Ok, now I know a lot of people are uber pissed that they missed their flights. Totally understandable and I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. Or flip flops. Or high heals. What ever.

I have sympathy for people stuck in an airport. I was stuck in one for 2 years. It's true. Some what. I worked there.

Bottom line is there may or may not be some complications with ashes collecting in an engine intake. Do you want to be the first person that finds out the results? I think we can all answer that with big fat hell no.

Another silver lining (quite the optimist today for some reason) to this disaster is that everyone should have fun "people-watching" others in the airport wearing their new citizen uniforms. If you are unfamiliar with this new policy please click here.

All in all, no one was killed in a plane crash due to inclimate weather. I'm going to take a different stance than all the critics. Good job European governments. Horay! Hip hip horay! "For they are jolly good fellows, for they are jolly good fellows!"

Ok, now that I'm done with that BS, here's some more: I was sitting in my cube today, And I hade a brief conversation with Tyler. He inspired me to write this Haiku.

Fall my friendly leaves.
The windmill blows us apart.
Float towards your fate.

I think I officially need a drink. Or the whole bottle. Weekend, here I come.

Read. Think. Flush. Repeat.

I almost forgot to wish everyone a happy Earth Day. What is the premise of this holiday? I propose that it is; "We live on a planet. It's called Earth."
Something unbelievably simple. I guess it's hard to be thankful for the Earth when I haven't been to any other planets. I know a lot of you wish I would visit one. Cough cough.

Awkward pause.

Some of you may or may not know that I used to be the organizer behind a hate group. Whoa. Easy there. Don't call the police! The hate group was named "The Boiled Peanut Hate Group." It had to do a lot with what is going on down here in the South. A lot to do with disgusting and filthy trash that is sold along the side of the road. A lot to do with a bunch oh "Hoo Haa" if you will.

Well the group is officially dismantled. It had to die in order to make way for this nonsense. I see it as a trade off. Much like how Ben Rothlisburgers needs to be traded to Pakistan.

Crisis Averted!

And, as promised, I am pleased to announce the first ever LTNB awards for the biggest failure of 2009. At first I didn't think we'd have a winner because I was the only person to vote, but it turns out, there are 2 others.

Here is a link to the video for the awards. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQt3o0pD7aw Not very exciting but at least there is more information. Please take note of the awesome T-shirt I'm wearing! Ha.

In all honesty, I thought the vote was going to be just me. I had planned to accept the award MYSELF! I was the only voter during the month of March. So I had a bag of shame, [which I will wear during any Falcons - Eagles game] which I constructed from a normal grocery bag. Paper: I recycle! But the crisis was averted. 2 people voted yesterday. Amazing!

Some strange and wild stuff happened last week. I went to a town in northern Georgia named Helen. It's an interesting town and if you visit it, you'll have the similar feeling of having stepped into Fantasy Land from Disney.

And here are a few silly pictures of Helen GA.

Attention All Nerds!

Ok, once upon a time there was a movie. This movie was made with state of the art (for it's time) computer generated graphics. It was a really cool movie with horrible character development. It was the very first of it's kind and it was about a video game and maybe a little bit more.

Turn the clock ahead 20 years and well, it's time to recycle an old idea. Maybe even develop a character or two.

You may know Jeff Bridges from Iron Man as the bad guy. You might have even seen him in Big Lebowski. He's the son of a man who said "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking" in one of the funniest movies ever filmed and dare I say; ever watched! Airplane was a great movie. Even the sequel held up. It's too damn hilarious.

I'm officially off topic now.

Back to Tron. That's what I'm trying to get at. Jeff Bridges was a geeky skinny kid back then and now he's in the squeal and Tron - Legacy looks pretty sweet. It's something to do with futuristic motorcycles that makes every nerd happy. There are two trailers out now but I don't have the links. I was too busy making my own graphic so that I don't get sued by Disney.

State of my TV Address

I wood [misspelled intentionately] like to talk a little about TV. Now this isn't a normal "talk" because you are unable to reply to what I say as I'm writing it. Even though, technically I'm not saying it all, I'm actually typing it. So I guess I'm not writing it either. Just typing.

Oh right: TV! Ok, so I pretty much hate TV now. I was all giddy about the sci-fi return of "V" with the aliens and all but they took a break. Aliens have very strict contracts. Everything on TV sucks. The Apprentice sucks. The Bachelor sucks. The reality island show where people "survive" sucks. I can't watch news or CNN with out thinking "I could be wasting my time some other way right now."

Please allow me to continue with the suck awards.

American Idol sucks. Lost sucks. "So You Think You Can Step Up and Dance with the Stars" sucks. See what I did there? Pretty clever huh? Housewives sucks. All of the crap that is on MTV officially sucks. Bravo should just give up. "Cooking with Angry Chefs" sucks.

So what doesn't suck? Well the late shows are usually entertaining. Conan is on hiatus or limbo or whatever. Steven Colbert comes on at 11:30 at night which is just too late for me. And I love Steven. He kicks face and takes names. And finally I have to say something about Community. Community is sarcasm with a dash of awesome mixed into a cake full of greatness. It's very fast paced and has a sense of 80's pop culture being that it is somewhat like "The Breakfast Club."

No redhead though.

Joel McHale. Joel Joel Joel. Sounds like a happy Christmas song. I know, I know. Chevy Chase is in it to. Who cares? I saw Chevy in the 80's. His time is over. He's the creepy guy in this show. I guess that's where he belongs though. He hit big with National Lampoons and Cady Shack. That's it. Nothing else. This is the time of Joel. If you don't know much about Mr. McHale, please watch every episode of The Soup. Do it now. Stop reading this.

Wasn't it funny? What? You didn't watch it?!?! STOP READING!

Ok, so that's how funny The Soup is. And the Community plays off of Joel's over the top ego humor. It's really good and my Mom and I sat down to watch 4 episodes on InDemand. It really is a perfect show. Here is a picture I ripped off the Internet. I would credit http://artculture.com for the photo but they did not credit anyone for the photo. Do unto others...

Tim Burton Fan!

Thought I'd include this. Just because I have unlimited power in this blog and I can say or bark anything that shoots out of my mouth.

So if you happen to be at Northpoint in Alpharetta at this exact time you may join. But don't bring any ugly friends. The ugly group is meeting at 7:48.