Showing posts with label Sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sucks. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Read My Blog - Save a Spiders Life! (just kidding)

In honor of the banner change, I have decided to do a marathon blog roll. *Cheering soundtrack plays in the background*  Ok, by marathon; I really mean one a day for the rest of this week. I owe it to you. You deserve it, especially after you made the decision to wear that shirt out in public.

Just kidding! I love you.

Still friends? Cool. We should come up with an inside handshake later.

So, just to update all the cool, awesome and totally perfect in ever way readers: I’m totally sick. I’ve been under the weather for a couple days now. It sucks. Being sick is like getting your leg caught in the car door and deciding to just go and drive with your foot exposed to all sorts of dangers like dogs with small bladders and fire hydrants and mailboxes and really small dinosaurs. Maybe I over dramatized that last sentence. Maybe I didn’t.

MS Word is telling me that one of those sentences is fragmented. Well MS Word isn’t paying for my therapy so MS Word can go eat a sandwich for all I care. MS Word is a spouse beating alcoholic. HA! Sometimes if you spread a rumor far enough, it reaches a new continent and declares independence and starts a new country call Farce-a-lot. MS Word should go to Farce-a-lot. It’s sort of ironic that I’m blasting the very program that makes the words you’re ready. That’s how I roll.

In addition to the new banner, you might notice my “About Me” is gone. Yeah, I replaced it with the poll. I don’t think it’s coming back.

ATTENTION ENTERING TRUTHFUL SECTION:

Ok, a lot of nonsense goes on here but this part is true. I wanted to give some information that you might be interested in. A month or so ago I found out my neighbors two doors down were cooking meth in their house. Just FYI.

ENDING TRUTHFUL SECTION AND RESUMING NONSENSE.

So yeah. It’s always interesting to find out what your neighbors are up to, especially if it comes in the form of a five year sentence (if it’s her first offense) felony charge. Who needs CNN when there are drug busts going on down the street?

Friday, March 5, 2010

State of my TV Address

I wood [misspelled intentionately] like to talk a little about TV. Now this isn't a normal "talk" because you are unable to reply to what I say as I'm writing it. Even though, technically I'm not saying it all, I'm actually typing it. So I guess I'm not writing it either. Just typing.

Oh right: TV! Ok, so I pretty much hate TV now. I was all giddy about the sci-fi return of "V" with the aliens and all but they took a break. Aliens have very strict contracts. Everything on TV sucks. The Apprentice sucks. The Bachelor sucks. The reality island show where people "survive" sucks. I can't watch news or CNN with out thinking "I could be wasting my time some other way right now."

Please allow me to continue with the suck awards.

American Idol sucks. Lost sucks. "So You Think You Can Step Up and Dance with the Stars" sucks. See what I did there? Pretty clever huh? Housewives sucks. All of the crap that is on MTV officially sucks. Bravo should just give up. "Cooking with Angry Chefs" sucks.

So what doesn't suck? Well the late shows are usually entertaining. Conan is on hiatus or limbo or whatever. Steven Colbert comes on at 11:30 at night which is just too late for me. And I love Steven. He kicks face and takes names. And finally I have to say something about Community. Community is sarcasm with a dash of awesome mixed into a cake full of greatness. It's very fast paced and has a sense of 80's pop culture being that it is somewhat like "The Breakfast Club."

No redhead though.

Joel McHale. Joel Joel Joel. Sounds like a happy Christmas song. I know, I know. Chevy Chase is in it to. Who cares? I saw Chevy in the 80's. His time is over. He's the creepy guy in this show. I guess that's where he belongs though. He hit big with National Lampoons and Cady Shack. That's it. Nothing else. This is the time of Joel. If you don't know much about Mr. McHale, please watch every episode of The Soup. Do it now. Stop reading this.

Wasn't it funny? What? You didn't watch it?!?! STOP READING!

Ok, so that's how funny The Soup is. And the Community plays off of Joel's over the top ego humor. It's really good and my Mom and I sat down to watch 4 episodes on InDemand. It really is a perfect show. Here is a picture I ripped off the Internet. I would credit http://artculture.com for the photo but they did not credit anyone for the photo. Do unto others...