Crisis Averted!

And, as promised, I am pleased to announce the first ever LTNB awards for the biggest failure of 2009. At first I didn't think we'd have a winner because I was the only person to vote, but it turns out, there are 2 others.

Here is a link to the video for the awards. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQt3o0pD7aw Not very exciting but at least there is more information. Please take note of the awesome T-shirt I'm wearing! Ha.

In all honesty, I thought the vote was going to be just me. I had planned to accept the award MYSELF! I was the only voter during the month of March. So I had a bag of shame, [which I will wear during any Falcons - Eagles game] which I constructed from a normal grocery bag. Paper: I recycle! But the crisis was averted. 2 people voted yesterday. Amazing!

Some strange and wild stuff happened last week. I went to a town in northern Georgia named Helen. It's an interesting town and if you visit it, you'll have the similar feeling of having stepped into Fantasy Land from Disney.

And here are a few silly pictures of Helen GA.

Attention All Nerds!

Ok, once upon a time there was a movie. This movie was made with state of the art (for it's time) computer generated graphics. It was a really cool movie with horrible character development. It was the very first of it's kind and it was about a video game and maybe a little bit more.

Turn the clock ahead 20 years and well, it's time to recycle an old idea. Maybe even develop a character or two.

You may know Jeff Bridges from Iron Man as the bad guy. You might have even seen him in Big Lebowski. He's the son of a man who said "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking" in one of the funniest movies ever filmed and dare I say; ever watched! Airplane was a great movie. Even the sequel held up. It's too damn hilarious.

I'm officially off topic now.

Back to Tron. That's what I'm trying to get at. Jeff Bridges was a geeky skinny kid back then and now he's in the squeal and Tron - Legacy looks pretty sweet. It's something to do with futuristic motorcycles that makes every nerd happy. There are two trailers out now but I don't have the links. I was too busy making my own graphic so that I don't get sued by Disney.

State of my TV Address

I wood [misspelled intentionately] like to talk a little about TV. Now this isn't a normal "talk" because you are unable to reply to what I say as I'm writing it. Even though, technically I'm not saying it all, I'm actually typing it. So I guess I'm not writing it either. Just typing.

Oh right: TV! Ok, so I pretty much hate TV now. I was all giddy about the sci-fi return of "V" with the aliens and all but they took a break. Aliens have very strict contracts. Everything on TV sucks. The Apprentice sucks. The Bachelor sucks. The reality island show where people "survive" sucks. I can't watch news or CNN with out thinking "I could be wasting my time some other way right now."

Please allow me to continue with the suck awards.

American Idol sucks. Lost sucks. "So You Think You Can Step Up and Dance with the Stars" sucks. See what I did there? Pretty clever huh? Housewives sucks. All of the crap that is on MTV officially sucks. Bravo should just give up. "Cooking with Angry Chefs" sucks.

So what doesn't suck? Well the late shows are usually entertaining. Conan is on hiatus or limbo or whatever. Steven Colbert comes on at 11:30 at night which is just too late for me. And I love Steven. He kicks face and takes names. And finally I have to say something about Community. Community is sarcasm with a dash of awesome mixed into a cake full of greatness. It's very fast paced and has a sense of 80's pop culture being that it is somewhat like "The Breakfast Club."

No redhead though.

Joel McHale. Joel Joel Joel. Sounds like a happy Christmas song. I know, I know. Chevy Chase is in it to. Who cares? I saw Chevy in the 80's. His time is over. He's the creepy guy in this show. I guess that's where he belongs though. He hit big with National Lampoons and Cady Shack. That's it. Nothing else. This is the time of Joel. If you don't know much about Mr. McHale, please watch every episode of The Soup. Do it now. Stop reading this.

Wasn't it funny? What? You didn't watch it?!?! STOP READING!

Ok, so that's how funny The Soup is. And the Community plays off of Joel's over the top ego humor. It's really good and my Mom and I sat down to watch 4 episodes on InDemand. It really is a perfect show. Here is a picture I ripped off the Internet. I would credit http://artculture.com for the photo but they did not credit anyone for the photo. Do unto others...

Tim Burton Fan!

Thought I'd include this. Just because I have unlimited power in this blog and I can say or bark anything that shoots out of my mouth.

So if you happen to be at Northpoint in Alpharetta at this exact time you may join. But don't bring any ugly friends. The ugly group is meeting at 7:48.

Where's the Shovel?!

So it's snowing. A lot. I recently watched an episode of Stephen Colbert's factual and compelling TV show. It's only a half hour long, but I always beg for more at the end of each viewing. "Please Stephen, please. Just one little encore. I must have more truth." In the show there was a segment about cold it is outside. Of course the satire kicked in immediately. I don't remember verbatim what he said but it was along the lines of how all the snow in Washington DC goes to disprove all this global warming. It went on and on and I'm thinking, "Wow. It's sad that the facts have to be wrapped up in a joke to make it's way onto TV." Sorry, no punchline to this story. Just reflecting out loud.
Here is a sample of the snow in Atlanta. I went out in the snow today to brave the outdoor wilderness. Yesterday I did the same. I was taking pictures and some guy chased me off his property. Apparently he doesn't want me taking pictures of his bathroom window. Whatever. I have a constitutional right to walk into his kitchen if I want to. Don't believe me?

Enough about my life as a paparazzi photographer. Comment on this blog and let me know how much white stuff you got this week. [I'm not talking about coke, you need to check into a clinic] It will be interesting to see how much snow everyone is getting. Thanks for reading!

Jane Says:

Lollapalooza. It was the summer before I started high school. I was young and dumb and wanted to go to a concert. It was my first concert ever and it was being held at the Central Florida Fairgrounds. It was so big that it had to be held out doors and there were more bands than I could shake a stick at. The atmosphere was like a horde of gypsies and punkers with clothes that I hadn't seen before. Hair defied gravity.

Alison Johnson and I spent a lot of time walking around checking things out. There were tents set up with circus acts and the usual venders selling cheep crap for unbelievable prices. New tee shirts were quickly muddied up by the mosh pit. After hours of entertainment and a list of bands that weren't norm for mainstream radio the day drew to a close and the sunset. When the others had finished, all the lights that were on went off. People started cheering and I was livid. I couldn't take my eyes from where the stage was once visible.

Then I heard the base line for Mountain Song. "COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN"

The flood lights went up. Jane’s Addiction started wailing. I didn't hear any of the music they played. I felt it. It's something that I vividly remember to this day. I've been to many concerts but this was the one that couldn't be topped. In 2003 I was able to see them again. This time I would bring my other friend, Will Bess and his girlfriend. But he fell through and wasn't able to come up with the money or some other excuse. I don't talk to Will any more. I think drugs have taken most of his life away from him and it is very sad. I went down to West Palm Beach alone and had a really good time. It was different this time and there was more stuff being sold and Audioslave was the highlight for me. Jane's Addiction came on last and had the usual electric neon light wild-circus-gone-bad aura going on. It was really fun but it wasn't like the Lollapalooza from 91.

I am pleased to announce that Perry Farrel is writing more music and the next step is another album. This made my day.

WARNING! This post contains the words: "Mariah Carey"

REVIEW:
Star Trek, released in 2009. The highly anticipated and probably the more talked about movie in the summer of 2009. Why did it get so much attention? Isn't it just another Star Trek film? Shame on you for thinking along those lines. I am not a 'Trekkie' but I do like Star Trek. I find it more realistic than Star Wars and it has more charisma than a lot of other sci-fi movies in general. Some people will hate me for the Star Wars comment but I like Star Wars too. Oh flip it. What I'm trying to say is that I'm a huge damn nerd. I would go into the dynamics of why Star Trek is more realistic and how I like the naval influence but you would just end up in a frenzy.

Back to the subject at hand. This installation to the Star Trek legacy is amazing because ultimately there are actors acting like actors that did a good job. I said 'good job' because it's extremely hard to harness the swagger of Captain Kirk or the dead pan of Spock. It was toned down for realism purposes but it shouldn't have been. I wanted to experience the hesitation in Kirk's voice. Maybe even a zoom in on his expression. Spock also has a certain confidence that might not have been there because of how the character was written. But overall the spirit was there and that's what counts. It took me about 30 seconds of saying "Who is that guy [Nero]" but I finally recognized the mouth and said 'Eric Bana!' Which was good, I think he did a good job as a villain. The plot, in true form, was confusing as usual. The only big problem (which is easily overlooked) I had was the design of the ship. I've seen a lot of Star Trek films so I know that if this is the prequel to all the other movies, the design of the ship should look old and simplistic, like the 70's version. It wasn't. Regardless of all these small issues, which I'm working out with my therapist, I loved the movie! I really really did. It was great to see Star Trek take a turn from the course it was on [no pun intended] and do something different. I'm glad the borg wasn't in the movie. I was expecting a Klingon or two but that's ok. I give this movie a 10 out of 10. I watched it twice in 3 days and plan to watch it again soon.

So right about now you're wondering what the hell does this have to do with Mariah. You are, aren't you??

I like Aerosmith. Actually I love the guys. I think they kick face and take prisoners. One of the things I think about when I hear that name is a wide mouthed dude dancing around in some raggy clothes and hitting some extreme high notes. Steven Tyler is having some rough patches but it's not new to him. He's a tough guy and he's very entertaining. How can you think of Aerosmith without Steven? I can't. I was going to post a few links to this story but I don't have to, you can find them all over the internet. There are a few quoting band mates that are saying he might be replaced. Then Rolling Stone has a quote from Steven saying he'll be back, everything is cool. It's hard to know what's really going to happen.

Why would they even try to replace him?!? Come on Joe, you know damn well that if you try to put someone in Steven's shoes it's like putting Mariah Carey in public office. People will suffer. Some things just can't be replaced and Steven is one of those things. Well actually he's a person, not a thing. Tim Geithner could step in for Mariah while she serves on the Board of Certified Trashy Singers. I wouldn't vote for her. I'd vote for Aerosmith and then propose an amendment to ban boiled peanuts.

Photo courtesy of: www.yourmoviestuff.com [http://www.yourmoviestuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/star-trek-symbol.jpg]